This New York Times online article by John Branch demonstrates masterful writing and presents a harrowing story in a useful, immersive multimedia format. I urge you to read it.
Here's a quick sweep through the first page showing:
* Strong, punchy verbs in green
Note how the author dials up and dials back the use of strong verbs according to how "in the moment" we are. The first six paragraphs pop like crazy, we get a paragraph to catch our breath, then back to the brutal description.
* Metaphorical phrases, anthropomorphizing and imagery in yellow
Writing is very much about quickly building images in the reader's head by leveraging familiar elements the reader already knows, like the size of a football field. Simile and metaphor are your tools. (But avoid cliche!)
* A couple of passive sentences in red
In 800 words, barely a hint of passive structure. Sure, I see liberal use of "was," but the use is effective and active in all cases. Even the two sentences I highlighted as clearly passive I would not change.
Note also the varying sentence length and how it affects pacing.
Study the craft and bring these lessons to your screenwriting.
