https://www.imdb.com/title/tt20112746/Logline"After raising an unnervingly talented spider in secret, 12-year-old Charlotte must face the facts about her pet-and fight for her family's survival-when the once-charming creature rapidly transforms into a giant, flesh-eating monster."
DiscussionWoven through this LL (oh god, I went there) are the clues announcing/screaming which famous book will be this movie's touchstone.
I can't decide if piggybacking (dammit, no) on Charlotte's Web is incredibly on-the-nose or absolutely required to lift this LL a tenth of an inch above "forgettable." I suppose we try it both ways.
Lots of fluff smothering this logline. Let's begin by ripping off the padding, see what remains.
"A 12-year-old must protect her family from the talented spider she secretly raised when it becomes a giant flesh-eating monster."
Forgettable. Is it better if we reinstate the Charlotte's Web stuff?
"12-year-old Charlotte must protect her family from the charming spider she secretly raised when it mutates into a giant flesh-eating monster."
The book callback is the only memorable thing in this LL. No question, it has to stay.
38 words down to 24. No point fluffing a threadbare logline.
Riff trackCan we inject something, anything to make a silk purse out of this sow's ear (SSSOMEBODY STAAAP ME!)?
"12-year-old Charlotte must save her city from the charming spider she secretly raised when it mutates into the world's most dangerously well-intentioned arachnid superhero."
