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Author Topic: Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice  (Read 233 times)
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Pitchpatch
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« on: May 10, 2016, 06:40 PM »


This title appears in the opening sequence of BvS:

METROPOLIS
MANKIND IS INTRODUCED TO THE SUPERMAN


You probably didn't feel it.  I did.  A tiny tremor.  A sub-audible rumbling.  A hint that somebody might be asleep at the wheel.

What bothered me?  This: "Mankind is introduced..."

Because "introduce" strongly suggests an agent doing the introducing.  Who's the agent in this scenario?  Who causes Superman to be introduced to mankind?  Well, that would be Superman himself.

Because there's an obvious way of saying the same thing without the passive tense and tri-syllabic verb.

Because a title should be brief, readable, punchy, and evocative.

METROPOLIS
MANKIND MEETS THE SUPERMAN


Simple.  Four words, seven syllables.  And look at that pleasant alliteration with 'm'.

If you shrugged just now and internally monologued "Meh, makes no difference," I want to agree with you.  I really do.  But I can't.  I can't walk away from a sentence that doesn't feel "right."  My idea of "right" and yours could be miles apart, of course.  The important thing is never settling for a sentence you know could be better -- this sentence, for example.  The important thing is never settle for a sentence you know can be better.

And knowing it can be better is the real trick, isn't it?
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NTSF:SD:SUV::
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